How do you get beyond standard? How to you carve out a new life that is rich in value and lives up to your dreams?
Today I responded to a lovely lady from the UK who needs some help growing her business and came to me for coaching. But she’s painfully sitting on the fence; not making a decision.
It reminded me of where I came from and what I had to do to change my life and get beyond standard. It was 2004 and I was $70,000 in debt and had only $27 in my bank account. Doing the ‘standard’ things just wasn’t going to cut it anymore. I had to do something different.
Here is what I wrote to her after she made no decision:
Hi Sue (name changed to protect her identity),
Okay. Yes, your response is a bit vague. In fact, there is no decision in it. Would it be okay if I shared with you what I’ve learned in my 20 years of coaching? What took me from a massive debt to become a millionaire?
I know you want success, so I’d like to share with you what I’ve found that my most of my successful clients do.
They raise their standards by making a new decision and then four things to gain ultimate success. This is how you get beyond standard.
Make a commitment to do whatever it takes to get whatever you want.
Say YES to your dreams, even if right now, you just don’t think you’ve got what it takes. Then…
1. Work out/decide/dream up what you really want from life, then
2. Work on devising the best possible strategy to get you there
3. Work out what you need (skills/tools/systems/connections/attitude) to make the strategy work, and
4. Take massive action on that strategy and remove any neural patterns that gets in the way of that action.
I know that sometimes it’s hard to make a decision because we don’t know what the future holds – and that’s acceptable to most, because that’s how 95% of the population live their lives. It’s standard practice. However, to get beyond standard, to really create a magical life of freedom, you have to do (most often) the opposite to what the large majority of people do.
To be extraordinary, ‘standard practice’ is no longer an option for you
Most people don’t realise that they’re making ‘standard practice’ decisions.
Last week my Singing Coach was whining about a speaker she listened to at a conference that she attended. She loved the speaker by the way but was annoyed that the speaker was paid $10,000 for a short keynote talk. Then she said, “You speak! Do you get paid $10,000 a talk?” I stupidly replied yes at which she immediately said, “And you’re paying me $35 an hour for singing and you get paid $10,000 an hour!” She was obviously offended.
But while she was sitting there stewing, I’m thinking – “I could coach her so she could increase her rates or become a singing speaker. That opportunity is there for her right now, but she’s too busy getting all bent up about it.”
I said, “Money and time are two illusions, and some people do much less for more – but they did much more to get there. And no, it’s not fair.
But everyone has the same opportunities in front of them, though let’s be honest here. Some decide to put up their hands and say, ‘let’s go for it’ while others sit on the fence; standard practice.” She of course sat on the fence and kept doing what she knew to do – and continued teaching me to sing. But she could have been singing a whole new tune.
Does this make sense to you?
Opportunities are all around you, but you won’t see them until you want to see them. So we just keep complaining.
It’s going to take many mindset shifts to get you to sing a new tune too, because we favour our patterns. We love our comfort zones. It’s why the world is getting fatter and sicker.
To get out of our patterns it’s typically uncomfortable, uncommon, weird, different – but ultimately it will become your new normal and your new normal will be what others see as a life beyond limits.
You will be admired, lauded, applauded – and hated by some as jealousies rise. My job as your future coach is to challenge your thinking until we break those old patterns that are keeping you stuck in an average life.
You’ve got to keep untraining your brain, until you become your future you. If you want it, it’s right in front of you… A richer way to think is not standard practice.